Limiting beliefs are those which constrain us in some way. Just by believing them, we do not think, do or say the things that they inhibit. And in doing so we impoverish our lives. …Limiting beliefs are often about our selves and our self-identity.
Writing is therapeutic, which is why I have been writing so earnestly these last 2 months. I am trying to keep busy. I’m trying to keep my mind on other things and distracted from the reality that is my love life. I have really tried hard to handle the break up responsibly. I haven’t been drinking and I don’t go to places that are seedy. Instead I have been going to church, and to talk therapy once a week, and to brunch and friends and restaurants for meals. I walk, I write, I cry, I clean, I have been making new friends and I have been eating a minimum of 2 meals a day. I really am trying to be mature and an adult. I only got 1 tattoo and 1 dog, compared to the history books, that says a lot! I deleted him and his friends from my social media, because I don’t want gossip to spread or to see his amazing life without me. I stopped communicating with his mom, because I didn’t want anymore hope. I tried to do the right thing (sometimes failing miserably at it in the process).For the most part I have managed to get through my days relatively quietly and without incident. I have managed to get into a sort of routine that helps me cope and go into survivor mode when it all gets too much again. My mom has been supportive. My friends and other family haven’t said much at all, if anything. I suppose no one really knows what to say or do for me. I am extremely good at not letting people in. I am very private and hide my emotions and feelings very well. I know that I have some limiting beliefs around love and relationships and I am working very hard on addressing that and changing it. I even did a webinar last night on this very subject and I did the exercise that they explained. I am going to do that exercise every day for a while I think. For me, when I am dealing with a difficult situation in my life, I like to go on a self discovery journey and get help and try to sort out the issues within myself so that I can grow and learn and become better at it. Growth for me is of paramount importance. It is a value of mine. Meaning is another. I crave meaning and I search for it always. It is difficult for me to have anything in my life unless it has meaning. It is another reason why I live such a simple life. I don’t want a lot of things around me or material possessions. I want the deeper stuff. The relationships, the conversations, the connectedness. That gives my life meaning. It gives my life value. Among other things of course!I think that is why break ups are so hard for me. I know I can find the meaning in why that relationship was in my life at that time, but I struggle with the possibility that the relationship had little to no meaning for the other person. I am not talking about flings or casual dating here, I am talking about the serious relationships. People think that it goes without saying that the relationship had meaning otherwise you would not be together, but the fact is that I don’t know or believe that for sure. That is one of my internal struggles. I wrestle with this each time. My limiting belief around love is that “they probably won’t want me” and “how is this one going to end?” which is something that I believe at a sub-conscious level. When things don’t work out then my sub-conscious uses that as proof and deepens the belief. So working on this has been a bit of an eye opener. Something that I have a hard time getting my head wrapped around. You see, I still struggle with the woo-woo!Limiting beliefs are crippling and we all have them. I have limiting beliefs around money, around a lot of things really. But the principle of dealing with them seems to be the same. You first need to figure out what you believe sub-consciously – which means you have to listen to your body when it feels odd about something. You have to ask youself why you feel uncomfortable with what you see and hear. Why is the compliment so hard to accept? Why do I feel like that man is crazy if he says he loves money? There is always a clue in those things. And when you discover your inner limiting belief, then you can start to see where it came from, and how it was reinforced. You can write it down and then write new beliefs around that, better beliefs, TRUTHS, so that when this pops up again, you can say NOPE, I believe this truth instead. Your sub-conscious will do anything to prove you right so it will start looking for the proof to substantiate your statements. You may believe that rich people are snobs because a rich uncle snubbed you as a child, but you can rewrite that to say that people who are entitled are difficult to deal with but I am giving and caring. Money allows me to give and care more. Even poor people can be entitled, believe me!! It doesn’t really matter what your limiting belief is or how silly it may sound, a belief is a belief and if it is hindering your growth and progress and it is up to you to reframe that event in your life, remodel your beliefs. So for me I have reframed my event and truth to be, my soul mate wants to be with only me and forever, I am a catch, I bring all of me to the table, and I enjoy the relationship for what it is.